My journey to become Catholic started April 1994. I was at a roller skating party, when I met Timothy. During that night, we got around to talking about God. I figured, after taking with him for a while, that he had a strong faith. I asked him what church went to. He answered, "St Mary's in Dracut." Shocked by his answer, I asked him, "Are you Catholic?". He responded, "Yes". "A catholic have faith??", I thought.

In Sunday School, I learned that Catholics had no clue what a "True Christian" is. And I was taught that Catholics pray to Mary and the saints instead of God. I got the idea that Catholics believed that the only way to heaven was to please God with their works, not by the blood of Christ. All though my childhood, I was taught sol scriptura (Scripture alone) and sol fides (faith alone).

I asked Tim a lot of questions that night and continued to asked question over the following months. I quickly learned that all my original idea of Catholicism was false. For one thing, Catholics rely very much on the Blood of Christ to get to heaven. They do believe that Jesus paid the price of death for our sins. Mary and the Saints are not gods nor are they equal or greater to God. Catholics praying to saints is like asking friends to pray for you. Another thing I learned was that faith without works is dead. ( James 2:14-26)

I was not surprised, when I went to his CCD class, I would find more Catholics with his type of faith. The councilors/teachers sensed my faith and invited me to their meeting after class that first night. At the post-class meeting, they discussed the class and plans for the next class. They shared their struggles and pray for each other with full unity. I, myself, got a lot of strength and encouragement from those prayer meetings.

Before I started to go to CCD class, I sensed that God was calling me to be Catholic. I was praying to God a few days before CCD started. I was playing with a keyboard and expressing to God my fears about becoming Catholic. Then the song "I Have Decided" came to my hands. This song I learned as a child the words and tune to, but never played it on a musical instrument before, came to my hands. This song encouraged me and was an answer to a prayer. It did take a few more weeks of encouragement from God for me to get started on the road to become Catholic.

I Have Decided to Follow Jesus

I knew a lot of my born-again family and friends would not understand why I would want to become Catholic. They could not believe that only reason I was become Catholic was because God called me. My dad was one of those people. He tried in every way he can to prevent me from becoming Catholic. He once prohibited me from going to Mass for a month. My dad tried to reason me out of this crazy choice. We would talk about The Virgin Mary to the Word of God. He had me talk to various other born-againers, most of whom I respected. Because of my dad's position on me becoming Catholic, I was advised to wait until I was eighteen.

When the time came near for me to be baptized, I was trying to decide if should tell my dad. He already knew I was preparing to convert to the Catholic Church. He just did not know the date. On Saturday before Holy Saturday of 1996, I told him, "Dad, I am going to be baptized on Holy Saturday". Needless to say, he was not very happy about it. He asked me, "Why do you want to be baptized?". "To become Catholic," I responded. To that my dad said, "Why do you want to be Catholic? You know Catholicism is a lie of Satan!". I tried to tell him that Catholicism is not a lie of Satan and that God called me to become Catholic. Of course, he did not believe me.

There was one issue I had to deal with before I become Catholic. In Colossians 3:20 "Children, be obedient to your parents in all things". Becoming Catholic was definitely against my dad's wishes. Is it disobedience of my dad if I become Catholic. Maybe it is, but Jesus said in Matthew 10:34-37, "He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me". The latter verse applied to my situation more so than the other, because God was calling me to becoming Catholic. The only problem was it God's will for me to get baptized on Holy Saturday, or for me to wait until I move out my dad's house.

Actually at one point, I did tell my dad I was not getting baptized. During my visitation with my mom on Holy Wednesday, (parents are divorced) I told her have decided. She disagreed with me. She felt if I allow my dad to "bully"me out getting baptized this time, he will continue to try to prevent me from converting. She use the story about Uncle Melvin and his love. Uncle Melvin could not marry his love until his sweetheart's mother died. Just because, the mother of his sweetheart did not approve of Uncle Melvin. The tragic part of the story is that they did not marry until their fifties. His love died shortly after their wedding. My mother was right. So I agreed with her help, I will be baptized on Holy Saturday. We also agreed that we should not tell my dad, until afterwards.

When I got home from my mom's house that night, I told my dad that I would be going over my mom's house on Good Friday and will not be back until Easter. My dad reminded me that the last show of The Choice (It was a play I was in) was Holy Saturday night. I told him I will have to miss that show. He insist that I can visit my mom and be home for five pm. Then he will take me to the play. I told him that was not interested in going to the last show and being home for five will not give me a enough time. He demand to why it would not be enough time. I refused to tell him. At that point, he was getting very annoyed. I decided to take my laundry to my room. He followed me.

I know dad knew why I could not be home for five. I told him the Saturday before. Needless to say, My dad was very angry, more than I ever saw him before. He chase me into a corner of my room. With no where to go, I stubbornly sit down on the ground. He was still asking me, "Why can't you be home for five? You can visit your mother and be home for five! There must be something else." I refused to tell him that "something else".

Then he pinned me to the ground. His hands held not to my shoulders firmly, using his weight to hold me down. I did not struggled. I dare not struggle. He has blown his top and if I moved an inch he would probably hit me. I have seen him hit my mom, step-mom, and step-brother. Why not me? All the time he pinned me down, he was demanding to know why. With his childish behavior (and mine), I refused to tell him.

After a while, he allowed me to my feet. As he started to exit my room, "Why will you not be home for five?" Since he was mature enough to let me up I decided to tell him, " I am going to be baptized on Saturday."

Dad: "You are not going to be baptized!" Martha: "Why not?"
Dad: "Because I forbid you!" Martha: "You can not do that!"
Dad: "Yes I can, I am your father!"
Martha: "I am eighteen years old; I am an adult!"
Dad: "As long as you live under my roof, you will not be baptized!"

At that time, I realized that I can't live under my dad's roof and be Catholic; That is until my dad accepts that his daughter is Catholic.

I went over my mom's house as planned, but I was home for five on Holy Saturday. During the visit with my mother, I told her what happened. I also told her that I will get baptized after I move out of my dad's house. I bet you know how she felt about that. She felt what happened was horrid and illegal. She insisted that I should take legal action, but I was not interested. On Monday, She picked me up from school and took me to Lowell Police, and to an organization for batter women. At this organization, I learned that I could put a no-abuse restraining order on my dad. I felt that is just. The final year lasting restraining order was pasted on my dad's birthday (April 9, 1996) and I moved out.

I did missed being baptized on Holy Saturday. But on April 21, 1996, I came home to the Catholic Church. Then on May 5th, I was confirmed. My mother cried at my confirmation. She said, after I was confirmed, it seem like I floated back to my seat. The strange thing is she was not Catholic. She was Wiccan. Anyways, I was glad to be a Catholic. Actually, I am glad I am Catholic!!

After, I few months my dad accepted his Catholic daughter. The restraining order expired on his birthday (April 9, 1997 Happy Birthday, Dad). I moved back in May. The relationship with my dad has improved. You know the saying "You didn't lose a daughter. You gained a son-in-law". Well Dad, you didn't lose a daughter to the Catholic Church. You can gain the whole Church Family

In my early teen years, I wondered what an ideal woman is in the 1990's. Because of my Christian upbringing, I wanted to know where Christian woman fit in today's world (biblical femininity vs. modern feminist). In my search for womanhood, I read scripture and articles. One such scripture was Proverbs 31:10-31which describe the truly good wife. The concepts mentioned in Proverbs 31:10-31 were and still are useful in today's society.

Everyone wants to trust and be trusted. Yet in a world where people deceive each other it is hard to trust. It is said of the woman in Proverbs 31 "her husband trusts in her"(vs 11). Trustworthiness is a rare and valuable quality, desirable in a woman. The lack of trust is the cause of divorces and broken friendships. How can a person stay in a relation if there is no trust? Trust is therefore a quality which society desires and the Bible requires.

In today's society, women are expected to care for a family and hold down a job. The woman in Proverbs 31 does this too. Except in today's society, women seem to be made to put careers over family. I am not saying women do not care about family. It just seems that, in the quest for gender equality in the workplace, the family seems to be forgotten. In Proverbs 31, the woman's main focus is her family. Everything she does is for the benefit of her household; from preparing breakfast to being a business woman. She gets up before dawn prepare breakfast (vs 15).

Though it is hard to believe a woman in biblical times can be a business woman. The woman in Proverbs 31 is one. She manages her vineyard(vs 16). "She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen." (vs 24) It is possible even in today's society for a woman to work and keep a family. I have even met such women. The trick of the trade is to have your priorities straight; God first, family second, and work third. Women and families today desires this ability to balance work with family.

As stated above, the woman in Proverbs 31 takes care of her family. She sews, cooks, and tends to the family's needs. She is blessed and praised by her huband and children. She satisfies her husband's needs. (vs 11) She makes sure her family is well dress for the weather (vs 22) and well fed.

Family is not only thing she cares for. "She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out her hands to the needy."(vs 20) Like the woman in Proverbs 31, today's women are involved in helping others. They care for the poor and help the sick. Women usually are more moved then men to help a poor soul. They are likely to get more upset over an abandon animal. a neglected child, or a battered woman. Women generally are very sensitive society's needs.

Like the woman in Proverbs 31, some of today's great women's husbands sit in positions of leadership in the community (vs 23). These women must have helped their husbands to be great leaders because they themselves are known to be great leaders too. As an old saying said. "Behind every great man is a greater woman". The woman in Proverbs 31 is, "praised in the gates". (vs 31)

The woman in Proverbs 31 is a woman of strength and dignity. (vs 25) She speaks wise words. (vs 26) Of course women who are great leaders are hopefully woman of strength and dignity. Society loves women of greater character, like Rosa Parks. At the movies, we cheer when the good honest woman gets the prince while the deceitful ones lose him. What is strength and dignity? What defines women of character? Strength is being strong enough to stand for your beliefs. No matter who follows and even if no one follows. Strength is needed when correcting others, including men.Dignity is being sure of oneself even when other are not; to not allow the world's opinions rule one's life requires dignity.

Submissiveness, even though is not directly mentioned in Proverbs 31,is an important aspect of biblical feminity and is written about thoughout the Bible. I know society does not agree with submissiveness. I know that submissiveness does not mean that women are less then men. Was Christ less than the Father? He is submissive to the Father's will. ( Ephesians 5:22-25 ) True submissiveness can not be forced. It must be taken up and done out of love. Proper submissiveness does not sit back when there is an injustice. It speaks out in the proper manner. To be truly submissive in today's world takes strength and dignity.

Some women might disagree with my opinions on womanhood. As for me, I will follow what my faith and scripture says. Proverbs 31 and other scriptures are still useful today. It sure helped this woman to know her place in this world. I am learning more and more each day to become the woman God wants me to be. There are things in Proverbs 31 that every woman needs to have and to give; love, mercy, trust.